Episode #6: Are you okay, Bob?

Mar,18 2025

Hi Bob,

Are you actually okay? I mean, I know yesterday didn't go as planned. That your daughter caught on so fast that there were kids around her age and that to play with them, she needed to undress, wasn't a surprise to us, but it was for you, and I am sorry. That your son followed in her footstep was also predictable.

Nothing I said could have prepared you for this, but the reality is that young kids are natural naturists. Don't tell me that your kids never before came out of the bathtub still naked to ask you a question before getting dressed. Kids are just casual about it. Maybe not at the age of your daughter, but certainly for your son.

Plus, they saw the park when you drove over, why would they spend an afternoon in a house without toys when there is a park, and it's sunny and warm outside?

Now, I am transparent. Like I said, Essie, predicted it. She even told Linda when they ate together on Friday, but I only found out after you all left.

That Linda choose to undress to accompany them to the park, didn't surprise any of us, not even you. Of course, a mother will follow her child, what surprised me, was that you decided to stay back, but I fully respect it. It's why I stayed with you to talk.

Did Essie hope you would undress too? Of course! She is a radical naturist and both your wife and your kids were nude, even when they came back with Essie for supper.

But don't think it's because she wanted Linda to become a naturist. It's more like, if the kids enjoy it, at least one of the parents should be with them. She was willing to just take them to the park on her own if neither of you had undressed, but Essie isn't their parent.

While on the subject, your kids, are adorable, polite, well-behaved and are clearly well stimulated. They both are seemingly so bright, I am happy for you and hope that when we do have kids, they are as great as yours.

That said, I am sure you have your fair share of trouble with them. We only saw them for a few hours.

Essie did want me to tell you that while the four of them were gone to the park, and you and I stayed back at my house, your kids did have a blast and they did make friends. The report that you got at supper, is just about what happened with your kids.

But Linda is bothered by it. By how easy it was for them to jump in, and how scary it was for her, and then, how natural it felt now that she jumped in. She also expressed an inability to talk to you about it, and well, that doesn't sit well with either of us.

We like you, both of you. We both think you are a great couple, and my hope, was that we could become true friends, but we fear that Linda is slowly pulling away from you, and we have no idea why. She didn't otherwise talk about you, didn't express any doubts, and it's clear from her talks with Essie that Linda fully loves you.

But as a friend, I will ask you to please talk to her. She has some sort of conflict inside her, and Essie thinks it's related to your couple, which is why she wouldn't hear anything about it from Linda.

Right, maybe I should explain a theory that Essie has about that. For me, it's obvious, but most people don't seem to get it.

The stereotype is that women, who are friends, share everything when they talk. What Essie realized, is that it's often a lot of bullshit. They don't share everything, they share everything within their personal Overton window.

You know about the Overton window, right? It's the range of subjects that are politically acceptable to the mainstream population at a given time. Like, in the past, racism was publicly acceptable, but now, it's trickier to say that you hate African Americans. That's a good thing.

Well, women (and men) in friendship have their own Overton window. Obviously, my wife cannot be friends with someone who excludes naturism from the window. Both Linda and you are fine with it, so we became friends.

Linda and Essie never discuss politics, so it's not in their Overton window. We don't know if you guys are pro-life or pro-choice, and you don't talk about it. Fine, we don't talk about it either (we are pro-choice, but wouldn't want an abortion, for the record).

But, Essie never mentions our marital problems because, well, presently, we don't seem to have any. We trust each other, we are each other's best friend, we do plenty of activities together, we think the same way, we communicate well, and we have plenty of money to avoid financial problems. Maybe once we have kids things will turn, but for now, they are good. Really good.

The problem, is that Linda doesn't mention marital problems between you two, and it could be because everything is great, or because Linda doesn't see speaking about her problems as being within the Overton window with Essie.

She also knows (you told her, big dummy), that we practice radical transparency, so she knows (again, thanks to you), that if she tells something to Essie, Essie will tell me, and I will tell you.

Unless you also want that radical transparency, but then, talk to Linda. She is your wife, if something bothers her, you should know.

Oh, it's early on Sunday, we are going to church, and then, if you guys want to talk, come over, emails, we will both be available for you guys. We might go play volleyball at 2h00 PM with friends for about an hour, without our phones, but at worst, email me or have Linda text Essie, and we will get back to you. If you want to drop in, Linda is more than welcome to join us at Volleyball, you are too, but I understand if you don't want to undress. I don't wish to put pressure on you, my friend.

And I really am, your friend.

Peter