Episode #10: Overcoming Trauma #10: The Barbecue

Jan,15 2026

<-#9: Overcoming Trauma #9: The Beach

The kids grew tired of playing and now wanted food. The teenager complained first, but it created a cascade, and soon enough, we were assaulted by hungry kids.

"It's probably the right time for the barbecue", says Candace's mother.

I realized that in addition to lacking clothes, no one had any electronics with them. No watches, no cell phones, nothing. It's like they didn't just disconnect from fashion but from the rest of the world too.

Well, I say they... I am the same as they are, and I admit there are a few moments where I would have doomscrolled on my phone instead of chatting with the others or looking at the kids.

I was told that naturism would bring me closer to nature, but what it was actually doing was getting me away from the connected world.

To be honest, I like that.

I realize that before naturism, Sarah might have brought her tablet to the table for some meals and basically focused on it instead of on us. Kyle couldn't simply because he doesn't have one yet.

But once she began being nude, she just stopped and focused on us instead. It might be coincidental, but I like that result.

I tried a few times to get her more invested in us, but today's kids are more connected online than in person. It's tough as a parent to act when you want them to make friends and their friends are primarily online.

But today? This afternoon? I have never seen Sarah more social in the real world. The group chats she was having online are occurring on the walk to the barbecue. The online play she used to make occurred on the playground.

She was being social in real life! I don't understand why she needed nudity to get there, but I certainly can appreciate the result.

I froze when we got to the barbecue.

The term is a misnomer; there are a few picnic tables brought close, and it's a sort of potluck.

There are various summer staples on the tables, like potato salads, tuna casserole, pasta, and spare ribs with a huge bowl of rice next to a massive container of steaming green beans.

But the main event occurred at a personal barbecue, behind one of the houses we passed by earlier, and it was manned by none other than Dr. Philips, who was wearing an apron while grilling sausages, burgers, and chicken. I could also notice a few aluminum-wrapped things. Perhaps potatoes?

He spotted me. Of course he spotted me. He laughed. "Nurse Elena? Wow, fancy seeing you here. Want some chicken? I have a few ham-and-cheese-studded chicken breasts, and I'll keep one for you", he says, laughing.

The older woman comes and offers me her hand. "Hi, I am Wendy, Greg's wife. I heard so much about you."

"Hi", I say, taking her hand.

Dr. Phillips isn't done.

"Guys, this is the best goddamn trauma nurse I ever met. Do you remember the story from last time of the crazy nurse who climbed on the patient I was stitching to hold his carotid? Well, that's her! I've seen countless nurses able to do crazy things when asked, but this insane woman doesn't even need to be told. It's like she knows where to be, what to do, and how to do it."

I blush. This is worse than being nude in front of others. This is... being exposed. Tell me I suck, and I will take it in stride, but such glowing compliments? In front of strangers?

"I just do what I can"

"Bullshit, honey. You save lives. Why aren't you a doctor? You have the knack for it"

But Wendy reacts. "Greg, you can't ask a nurse why she isn't a doctor"

"Sorry Elena. My wife is a nurse too. I have a lot of respect for nurses, but honestly, some of you should be doctors"

"Do you work at the hospital?" I ask Wendy, trying to deflect the conversation from me.

"Yeah, but in oncology"

"Ouch, that's rough", I say.

"You lose more patients than I do", she says, brushing it off.

"Yeah, but you get to know them"

"True"

I see, however, that Nadia went to talk to someone else, and while John is close by, he is talking to one of the men we just met.

In my mind, this was occurring in front of everyone, but as it turns out, this was a conversation between only three adults.

"Is this your house?" I ask, trying to change the subject again.

"It is. Wendy is from a long line of naturists, and well, whatever my wife wants, she gets, right?"

Wendy smiles.

But after flipping burgers, he returns his attention to me just as I was trying to evade him.

"I didn't know you were a naturist", he says.

"I wasn't one. First day trying."

"Oh, but you don't have a cotton tail?", he says.

"Honey, not every newbie has one, and not every naturist lacks one"

"Fine. So, Elena, chicken?"

"Sure, sounds lovely. Sorry I didn't bring anything to the pot luck"

But he turns. "Now that is bullshit, because you brought 3 wonderful things"

"Huh?"

"Your lovely kids, yourself, and your smile", he says, but then he returns to his food.

Wendy apologizes for him. "Don't mind him. He is so focused at work; this barbecue is his way to unwind. It's one of the only moments when he isn't on call"

I nod and tell her that I was happy to have met her.

When I join my husband, he presents me to Luis and his wife, Martina, who seems familiar.

"Luis is a carpenter I sometimes work with", says John.

"I think you are a nurse at my hospital", says Martina.

"You do look familiar", I say.

"I am on the cleaning staff"

I pause. "Wait, are you the one who lifts her hair in a bun?"

She laughs. "I am"

"Oh, I know you. You are always in a good mood"

"I am, and you are always so focused", she says.

I had conversations with Martina! I didn't know her name, but when we have a huge trauma case, we sometimes need cleaning fast. She might not be the fastest, but she is the one who offers the most sympathy to the staff.

After losing a patient, her simple "That must have been rough" can be enough to let us break the emotional dam we keep during an operation so that we can unwind and empty the built-up frustration enough that we can properly handle the next patient.

The hospital is a big employer, so of course, I should have thought I might bump into some of my co-workers. Oddly enough, I am not filled with dread as much as I thought I would be.

Granted, they are colleagues I respect and have a good relationship with. Not everyone is a good co-worker, and I am scared of quite a few doctors. Seeing them here might have been traumatic, but Dr. Philips is nice, and Martina is great.

My kids found other kids to eat with and were with Dr. Philips's daughter and the other teenager.

We ended up sitting with Luis, Martina, Nadia and her husband, and Candace's parents.

The eight of us had a decent enough conversation until more food was available and we began eating the main meal. Service was by Wendy, but Dr. Philips, Greg, insisted on giving me my chicken himself.

It was delicious...

But as the talking went on, I realized something. Martina and I had stories about the hospital. Luis, Patrick, and John had stories about worksites. Nadia had some stories too, about work, about her daughter, and about life. But Candace's parents only talked about naturism. Even when talking about their kids, it was about their relation to naturism.

I could see what Nadia was saying. And it brought me back to my mother as John received his burger. Yes, another burger.

I saw other religious people. Of course, I did; they went to church with us. However, most had rich lives. Only a fraction of them protested after church. Only a portion of them gave a thought to religion outside of church.

And yet, religion was at the center of my mother's life, like naturism was the core of Candace's parents's life. Both my mother and her parents picked a single purpose for their existence and went all in.

I just hope their focus includes being great parents for Candace's sake. Because I don't remember ever feeling protected by my mother's rules.

Perhaps that's a source of my trauma.

In that respect, the little that these parents talk shows me they are leagues ahead of my own. Their kids are front and center in their stories, and I can feel the love they have for their children.

Watching them share about their kids, I felt something tighten in my chest. Perhaps that's the love I was missing.

More food was passed. I got some rice and some beans, and John got a few spare ribs. The aluminum foil did hide oven-baked potatoes. Well, barbecue baked potatoes, and John loves those!

In fact, a few people at the table "fought" for one, and Nadia and Martina ended up splitting one.

As it turns out, they knew each other quite well from other naturist events. It's a small world!

A few candid revelations are given, and I'm shocked that people are that open about their lives, but then again, I was shocked with other textile friends.

Martina in particular seems to be an open book about pretty much anything in her life, including her attempts to get pregnant, which were both funny and warm. Plus, despite actually talking about having sex, because spoilers, that's how you get pregnant, it wasn't sexual at all in description.

In fact, for a conversation between 8 adults in relationships, it was the most vanilla one I had had for a while, and it was refreshing. I've lost friends who were too obsessed with discussing sex lives.

Dessert was mainly homemade pies, some cupcakes, but the main event for me was churros made by Martina.

They were stellar!

"Wow, Martina, this is incredible"

"If you'd like, I'll invite you this week to my place, and I can show you my recipe", she says, proud.

"Perhaps", I reply.

But I surprise myself thinking that, yeah, I might actually go. At social events we often promise the world and never act on any of it, but this time, somehow, I felt like she was being honest and like she wanted me to take her up on it.

She smiled.

The sun set on us, and Candace's parents invited everyone to their fireplace.

I missed their name the first time, and now, I feel too awkward to ask for it.

I helped Wendy clean up, but I wasn't the only one. Most of the women did, while the fathers corralled the kids.

Soon enough, however, the kids were inside Candace's house, with Dr. Phillip's daughter as the official babysitter, and the adults were around a small fire where we grilled s'mores and marshmallows and passed beer bottles around.

Nadia and I don't drink, Patrick only took a single beer, and no one abused them.

Talk was light. It was more monologues than conversation, with someone telling something and the other responding non-verbally with laughs, grunts, or, occasionally, small comments.

I don't think there were any rules of engagement. Luis mentioned something about a colleague getting hurt this week. Patrick had heard about it.

Nadia briefly mentioned bringing 4 new cloud instances online this week, and I got the impression that I wasn't the only one who didn't understand at all what it meant.

Wendy lost 3 patients, which broke her heart, as one of them was a sweetheart. A grandma with 4 kids and 14 grandkids, most of whom were there when she passed.

Greg saved a few patients, including a father with a defective heart valve. I hadn't heard that one, but if it didn't go through the ER, I wouldn't have heard about it.

I shared about my teenager who was shot.

It felt all disconnected, and yet, wholesome. It's like we were unwinding our week in a chaotic but heartfelt fashion.

When John spoke up, I was afraid he would be judged, but he barely opened up about it.

"I recalled some major bullying trauma this week, and I am processing it. Today helped me a lot"

Patrick and Nadia knew the details and offered more comments, but it was still mostly limited.

It felt like you could throw your pain into the fire and just let it burn. The others being only there to cheer as you unload.

Maybe one day, if this occurs enough, I will throw stuff about my mother. But that day isn't today.

And today isn't over.

<-#9: Overcoming Trauma #9: The Beach