Episode #15: Overcoming Trauma #15: Changes

Jan,21 2026

<-#14: Overcoming Trauma #14: Going Home

I am still fuming in my bed.

It's hot under the sheets, even if I am just wearing a sundress.

I leave the bed, get in front of the mirror, and remove said sundress. I realize that when dressing back up, I didn't even bother with my panties, as they were in my purse and I forgot about them.

Looking at me, I realize that I don't have the same relationship with my body anymore. That is for sure.

Now, I am not as ashamed of it. Is Ginny hotter than I am? Sure, she is, what, 13 years younger than I am?

But the reality is, does it matter to me now?

I think that on Friday, I was looking at other women as competition. I was thinking, if a hotter woman gets into my husband's life, he will leave me for her, and now, I feel more confident about that.

And yet, I don't know why.

I suspect it's not the naturism. It's not that I looked at other women our age and ranked them compared to me, because, well, I did no such thing.

Even now, if I try to think of Kara's curves or Wendy's, I can't clearly picture them. They were there, next to me, as nude as I was, and I don't have a clear idea of what they look like because I wasn't there to look at them.

The only reason I have a clearer idea about Ginny is that I tend to look a little more at the babysitters of my kids.

No, not because I am afraid that my husband will cheat on me with them, but because, in a way, they are a surrogate me. They are there to do my job. I should know them more, and my lack of conversation with Ginny is probably a huge part of my current irritation.

I keep looking at myself.

Nadia brought plenty of good things into my life. She helped pop a repressed trauma in John. Made me meet new people.

I got to actually enjoy playing golf with my husband with the special rules. For the first time in my life, if I am not invited to his next round, I might feel left alone, not relieved.

Even my son seems to have gained some small level of maturity, and he seems closer to Jimmy than he ever was with William.

The reality is that William's mother, Lucy, is a nurse I work with. Their friendship is a sort of babysitting exchange. When she needs a break, she sends William to my home, and vice versa.

Jimmy and Kyle, however, made a more natural friendship.

And that sleepover with Nadia and her husband untied a pain point I couldn't really see, deep in the recesses of my mind.

That my husband and my son also picked to undress as naturally as they did when we got home, tells me everything I need to know.

My family chose the naturist lifestyle.

I picked a new best friend, who is a naturist.

My husband is getting a new best friend in the husband of my new best friend.

Everyone around is only waiting for one decision on my part.

Everyone wants me to ratify the decision to change the lifestyle of my family to a naturist one.

I can feel it.

The pressure is on, and I don't like it.

But I could.

The question is, how?

I pace in my room. A stupid idea pops in my mind, but I brush it off.

I brainstorm others, but I keep returning to my original stupid idea.

Is it that stupid?

I grab my sundress and put it on. I look in the mirror, and it feels wrong now. Why? I don't know.

I leave the bedroom and find my three family members playing Mario Kart.

"Can you guys pause the game?", I ask.

"Sure", says John.

"Just hear me out. I want everyone to go to their rooms with no arguments, get fully dressed, and I mean, underwear, pants, socks, and a shirt, and join me at the table for a family discussion"

"But Mom..." says Sarah.

"She said no arguments", said John.

"Fiiine", she says.

I turn off the TV, but not their game, and go sit at the table.

Like I said, stupid idea.

Kyle is first, soon followed by John. Sarah doesn't so much walk to the table, as almost crawl like a death row inmate not looking forward to never ending their day.

They each sit.

"I have something to say, and I want everyone to remain absolutely quiet"

I get nods or verbal agreements.

"I have a new best friend. Nadia. She isn't like us. Her family are naturists, which means that they do not wear clothes at home"

"We know that, Mom", says Sarah.

"I said, absolutely quiet".

"Sorry", she says.

Kyle laughs for some reason.

"I've been thinking about it, and I think it could do us some good, especially until this stupid central AC is fixed. So, I am proposing that we become a naturist family. I know it can be scary, but you'll get used to it. I hear children adapt easily to it"

"But", says Kyle.

But I just shush him.

"Wait, are you? Oh, this is so cool. Mom. Thank you for that", says Sarah, who now gets my game.

"From now on, unless we have textile visitors, like William, we will all be nude in the house, sitting on towels. If someone is not at ease with it at first, we'll adapt, but the goal is to all live in this house nude. And at Nadia's house. Plus, Nadia goes to a naturist resort, and we will sometimes go there"

"All right", says Sarah, smiling.

"No, not all right. I am making this decision, and you will argue with me about it", I say.

"Huh?", says John.

"What is that, John? You are not ready to be nude in front of your kids? It's natural. It only takes 5 minutes to get used to it. I promise you. If you'd like, we can try to undress the 3 of us, and you can keep your boxers on and remove them only when no one is looking and then join us like nothing happened. I hear it is very effective"

Suddenly, I can see a light turn on in his mind too.

"But will Sarah agree to be nude? It's not like there are kids her age", he says, winking at Sarah.

"Yeah, it's fine for adults, but what do I get out of this?", she says.

"Well, Sarah, Nadia has a daughter, Cassie. I am sure you will get along with her."

Sarah laughs. "I hope so. It's a big request."

"I don't understand what we are doing", says Kyle.

But I decide not to break character. "Kyle, I am trying to convince you to agree to a naturist lifestyle. One you cannot tell non-naturists, but as a bonus, I know a guy, Jimmy, who is a naturist and who you could get good friends with"

"Yeah, I know Jimmy", he says.

Dad explains. "So are you ready to become a naturist?"

"I already was"

"No, this is a new idea I have", I say.

Sarah laughs. She says to Kyle. "Mom is pretending to introduce naturism to us to help her or something"

"Oh, like make-believe?"

"Yeah", says Sarah.

"Oh. Yes, I am ready to try", says Kyle.

"I will do my best. Mom, but I am not sure whether I am ready to be nude. It's a lot to ask", says Sarah, in a fake, over-dramatic way.

She actually makes me laugh.

I stand up. "It's easy, guys. Look, I will start and put you at ease," I say, removing my sundress.

Sarah looks at me and mouths the words "Thank you"

Kyle quickly undresses, not really getting the game, but Sarah claims it will be difficult to do.

She gets into her room and returns with a towel wrapped around herself.

"Is it okay if I keep the towel a few minutes, Mom? I am still scared a little"

I tell her it's okay.

John reset the Mario Kart game.

Soon enough, three of us are nude playing the game, with only John still dressed.

After the second race, he undresses, and a new normal settles in.

One that I introduced. One that I selected.

A new lifestyle of my own choice. Even if it was just a stupid trick to calm my fears.

And finally, I find real peace for the first time this weekend.

<-#14: Overcoming Trauma #14: Going Home