Episode #38: Overcoming Trauma#38: Back in Trauma

Feb,14 2026

<-#37: Overcoming Trauma #37: Meeting Hanna

The days went on, and I got news from Martina that the construction was going so great, that over the weekend, they were going to leave their apartment and move to the resort.

Martina might keep working to help pay for appliances and for the move, but soon enough, she would retire from the textile world and live full-time at the resort.

I could sense she was a little scared, but Wendy was with us, and she was over the moon hearing Martina's progress.

"Surely your husband makes enough money to let you leave your job?" said Martina.

"He does, but it's not about money. It's about having an effect on the world. I cannot just stay idle when people suffer. I need to be a nurse as much as I need to breathe or eat", said Wendy.

I fully agreed with her.

Anya was discharged from the hospital Wednesday afternoon, and by the time Friday rolled in, she was back on the job, even though, in the end, she chose to mainly work from a wheelchair.

"They tried to keep me home, but I'm bored!"

She could stand, even walk, but sometimes she needed some rest.

Everyone thought she came back too early, but, like, she kept saying, "It's just one day".

But everyone also knew that for her, it was all about getting back to her regular schedule. It wasn't just one day, because she doesn't work weekends.

It did allow me back into the trauma room for a breath of fresh air!

Mostly car accidents and heart attacks.

Those were our bread and butter, and on that Friday, my first shift in the trauma room of the week, was what I needed.

But it wasn't my only presence in the trauma room.

The previous day, I knew I had to delegate my charge nurse responsibilities when an ambulance announced a possible DOA from a gunshot wound. A woman shot by the man she married.

All homicide attempts are treated with the seriousness they deserve, but a feminicide attempt gets us a little more riled than usual.

When we get gang-on-gang shooting victims, we wonder if it's not part of their job. If you sell drugs, you might get shot.

But no woman dates a man expecting to be killed by that same man.

It's the lack of randomness, the familiarity of it. A woman wants to leave a violent man; he doesn't accept it. So we need to stabilize her.

It's heartbreaking, and each time, I wonder if one day, Sarah will come through these doors after trying to dump her latest boyfriend.

This asshole, at least, wouldn't hurt anyone else. He took the easy way out and was pronounced dead on location by the police.

Normally, a doctor needs to call a death, but in some extreme cases, it's so obvious that the police can just send the body to the morgue.

But I have to say something else about that week. I was aware of every victim coming in during my shifts that week, every trauma victim, and every ambulance arrival. And despite that, I was not made aware of any police shootings. Not one. Granted, I might have missed a nighttime shooting, but no one mentioned anything.

John went twice to the resort to check on the progress, but he didn't work, and on Thursday, he only stayed for about 15 minutes.

The book I am reading to Sarah is so good; I am finding that I like it too!

And it poses us a problem. Sometimes, I think it's time to stop, but Sarah wants to keep going. And other times, she almost falls asleep, so I begin to leave, but I would like to know what is happening, so I read in my mind, react, and that wakes her up for more.

Tonight, however, Cassie comes over. It had been a while. And this time, not only did Nadia come over, but Patrick too!

We have a garage. I rarely get in it, in large part because we don't bring the cars into it. It's a single-car garage, and in addition to the four bicycles and a bike trailer, there is a shelf with John's tools, a snowblower, and shovels for the winter, next to a plastic container for salt to melt ice.

There is even a bin with winter clothes, which will have summer clothes in the winter.

In all cases, Patrick and John went into the garage, and they just about vanished for an hour.

Kyle stayed glued to his video game, while the girls vanished into Sarah's bedroom, sharing laughs until it would be time to leave.

That left me with Nadia.

And I can see something in her eyes.

"Are you okay, Nadia?"

She takes a deep breath. "I will be. This isn't my first rodeo. I just..." she pauses, and I can feel she is on the verge of crying.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just... Fine, I am selfish. I can't control what others do, but I am always sad losing a friend"

"Nadia, it's not selfish to feel sad to lose a friend. But which friend did you lose?"

"Well, everyone. "

"What do you mean, everyone? You still have me"

She scoffs. "Please. Elena, don't deny it. I know what's happening. I won't make a fuss; I am used to it, but even if I am, it still hurts, you know?"

"Listen to me, Nadia, you aren't losing me as a friend. Where did you get that idea from!"

"Elena, don't deny it; you are moving to the resort and will slowly forget me, who lives outside.

"We are not moving to the resort, and I could never forget you", I tell her.

"No, it's ok. I know how it goes. You'll move in, you'll probably work with Wendy at her care center; she told me she would like to recruit you too, and soon enough, like Kelly, Kara, and Wendy by then, and in a few days Martina will no longer see any point in dealing with the outside world. I get it. It's my fault I don't want to move in where I grew up"

"Wait, back up. We aren't moving in, and I have no intention of leaving the hospital. I am a trauma room nurse, Nadia, not a care facility nurse."

"But you are getting a house there, no?"

"Hush, my kids don't know. And for us, it's just a second home, so we don't pay when we visit"

"You say that, but in a few years? You told me of a few trauma victims, and, well, one day you'll want the quiet care center"

"So what? Even if that happens, we'll have been friends for perhaps a decade"

"I never kept a friend for a decade; don't kid yourself"

"Haven't you been friends with Kara and Kelly for decades?"

"Well, no. Not consecutively, and now, we are more acquaintances than friends. They don't like that I am living outside the resort", she says, full of disdain.

"That's bullshit. They accepted me and Martina"

"Yeah, you were the new shiny thing, and Martina always wanted to move in."

"You really are seeing things very negatively. I value our friendship, for real. Even before I became a naturist too"

"Yeah but then you became one. Let's face it, Elena, I am not hip enough. I understand. I'll always value what we had"

"Listen to me, Nadia, you are my best friend, not Martina, who can barely look me in the eyes, not Wendy, who I barely know, to be honest. Certainly not her daughter; I never had a conversation with Ginny"

"She is rather shy", admits Nadia.

"Certainly not Kara, who is far too extreme for me"

"Good, she is too extreme for me too"

"And not Kelly, though she is kind and generous, but I don't know"

"I know what you mean. What about Hanna?"

I look at her.

"Wait, is Hanna the problem?"

"D'uh"

"Sure, I like her, but I can have two friends"

"No one is friends with Hanna and someone else. That girl is royalty", says Nadia, sad.

"Back up again. What do you mean, royalty?"

"Hum... Hello? Don't you know who her husband is?"

"Yeah, a cop. And part owner of the resort"

"Elena, that's like saying that Elizabeth was an ambulance driver and owned a big house"

"Huh? Whom?"

She hits her forehead. "I knew that reference wouldn't land. Elizabeth II, the former queen of England, used to be an ambulance driver in World War II. Never mind. My point is that calling him a cop is reductive. He legally owns the shrine from his father, who was the eastern conference mediator for the Southern Christian Naturist Church."

I look at her.

"Is that supposed to tell me anything?"

She looks at me. "Haven't you been paying attention? No one told you about the shrine?"

I sigh. "No, no one"

"Oh, it's this stupid shack in the woods by the vegetable farm, with tools and stuff. It's technically outside the resort and private property, but you can only get to it from the resort"

"Ok, and what is so important about it?"

"Damn if I know! But the tools in it, and the copy of the book of Christopher that was in it, are from the original resort. It's why people do a pilgrimage here, and, well, Hanna is the one pushing for it"

"Well, I just heard she co-manages the resort, so it's make sense"

"Wait, what? Since when?" says Nadia.

I gasp. "Shit, is this not public information? Hanna came here to help us make a corporation to design the care center, and she admitted she was responsible for the finances of the resort since her husband owns shares"

Nadia stands up and starts pacing. "Wait", she says, but then she starts laughing.

I wait; she is processing this.

"Oh my God", she says. "I had it all wrong. This isn't a religious move. It's a financial plot. Holy crap. "

She sits back and laughs again.

"What are you saying?" I say.

"I thought that Hanna was turning into a religious freak like Kara and Kelly when she never showed any real signs. But that's not it. She's trying to increase resort revenues, not make our resort holy. Sneaky little bastard", says Nadia, still laughing.

"You are losing me", I say

"No, maybe I probably am not making sense. Possibly I am overreacting because I felt like everyone was turning into some sort of religious zealot, and I thought you were drinking the Kool-Aid too."

"I am not"

"I realize that, but my tripwire, my person I was using to gauge the religious fervor, my canary in the mine, was Hanna, and she is faking it for financial gain," says Nadia, who starts to slow clap. "Well done, Hanna. Well done"

"I don't know her that much so far"

"But you like her, right?" says Nadia, with a weird tone.

"Yeah, I guess so"

"See, I am afraid of losing my friends, so I panic. But Hanna, that little accountant, she doesn't panic. She gets proactive. It's, like, impossible not to like her"

"What do you mean?"

"She'll do your taxes; she'll sit next to you just hoping you will talk to her. She'll even propose a manicure, or whatever, to be liked. She inspires me, in a way, but, like, there is never a part where she is just honest. Like, I told you I was jealous, and I threw my little tantrums, not Hanna. She will never have as much as a hair out of place, let alone an outburst"

I think. So she is a people-pleaser. There are worse traits of characters. Including jealousy...

"Well, now that I know that"

She leans forward.

"Why do you think she drinks so much? Plus, she's not even straight", says Nadia.

"Pardon me?"

She looks around.

"Once, she was drunk, and, well, I saw through the facade. It's not that simple with Anton's mother... I don't know the details, but I get the impression that Hanna and she had something too. "

"Nadia, who cares? It's none of our business"

But I see what's happening. She feels threatened by Hanna and is trying to paint her in a bad light. Well, I don't mind if Hanna dated Anton's mother too. I don't mind what happened in her life. If she ever wants to talk about it, I will listen, without judgment, and if she never does, I will pretend I didn't hear anything.

Fortunately, the subject changed to Nadia's fear of the radicalization by her friends, including me, and was interrupted by our husbands coming back from the garage, laughing.

This signaled somehow that it was time for them to go, even if it was early and I would have welcomed a four-way talk, perhaps on the construction instead of on Nadia's fears.

Cassie was a little sad to go, but Sarah took it well enough.

Once the three were dressed and had left, Sarah needed to talk.

"Mom, I am worried about Cassie"

"Why is that?"

"She is starting to feel a little too religious for my taste, even more than Candace. Cassie wants to move into a resort as an adult and hates wearing clothes."

I look at her.

Nadia is scared about how much her friends are being radicalized, when in reality, I don't sense it much, and her own daughter is drinking the Kool-Aid?

This is rich.

John and I, with Kyle listening in, spend a good 30 minutes alternating between, on one hand, asking Sarah questions about what Cassie said and about what Sarah thinks herself, and on the other hand, providing our own opinions on the subject.

On that, John and I didn't see eye to eye, but we were both honest about our points of view and could present two sides of the medal, which added subtlety that Sarah seemed to appreciate.

In short, Sarah felt like Cassie was making a mistake. That she had problems making real friends at school and that she felt like the only way to get closer to Candace was to be as religious as her mom.

"But Candace doesn't care about religion; that's her mom's thing, not hers. She follows her mom only to be accepted by her. She told me."

It was a nice talk, but I wondered. Did religious fervor flip on each generation? Kelly is extreme in her beliefs, so Candance isn't. Nadia is against extremism, so Cassie wants to be extreme?

Is that a form of rebellion? What was mine? Is it that in my case, my mother wanted to discriminate, so I aim to heal everyone?

If that's the case, what will be my daughter's rebellion over me?

<-#37: Overcoming Trauma #37: Meeting Hanna